Funny Cute Quotes

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A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Unknown

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have on something they don’t need.
Will Rogers

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was ’shut up.’
Joe Namath

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
Ray Romano

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
Groucho Marx

Don’t f*** with my head and I won’t think with my dick!

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.
Abigail Van Buren

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Bob Hope

I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn’t explain away afterwards.
Rudyard Kipling

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

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